“We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act but a habit.”
This quote rings especially clear in my heart today. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always prided myself on my clean mouth. In fact, I have a reputation of not swearing, and no I’m not a prude, at least I hope not haha. So far, I’ve done a good job of disciplining myself not to utter the “words”, but recently, perhaps because of my recent experience of adulthood, the leash I hold over my tongue has loosened. The power and effect of swearing is so paradoxical, much like currency, the rarer it’s use, the more potent it becomes when utilized. The alarming thing is the “words” have become my every day ordinary words; they coexist with my daily vocabulary, and the hesitation I always experienced when I used them has disappeared. In the beginning, using the swears was liberating and cathartic; it was because of this taste of power and control (this is real, although a bit melodramatic I admit ;)), I’ve become addicted and inebriated by it’s use, abusing it daily without thought. Unwittingly, I allowed my addiction to become a poor habit, and it wasn’t until I called my sister a B*tch (over something trivial too) that I realized just how far I let myself go. Her eyes widened and a tangible effect rippled across her features. She was hurt, bad, and my anger simmered down just as quick as it inflated. The vocabulary you know affects your thinking and personality (scientifically proven:), and in allowing swears into my life, I’ve become a crabbier, and more impatient person. In a way, becoming acquainted with these “swears” was equivalent to constantly holding a loaded gun; instead of thinking calmly, out of habit, I draw the gun of my swears causing catastrophic damage to my loved ones. Today I enter a “vocab rehab”, and encourage you all to join me as well :). I will not be allowing myself to reach for swears, and will be keeping a chart of my progress, and hopefully will not (fingers crossed) encounter any blips.
On a side note, I have been utterly bored recently, any ideas of what I should be doing with my time?